


the road to hell

by Hornet394



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, Cultivators, Curses, Demons, Gay, Good Intentions, Heaven, Illnesses, M/M, Original Character Death(s), Witchcraft, because i need tags, but they're super minor, i do mean good intentions, like one mention of someone getting eaten, poor romantic development, sorry - Freeform, surprise no one important dies in this fic of mine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-05 03:32:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17317268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hornet394/pseuds/Hornet394
Summary: Upon Yifan's first entry to the underworld, he is asked to tell his story. It comes easy to him, the memories vivid and strong, but it is immensely difficult to recount it with words.His story starts with the Heavens turning his back against him, and ends with the man with the dimpled smile.Written for songforyou fest.





	the road to hell

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Songforyou fest! 
> 
> SFY295 - Cheung Kaying (蔣嘉瑩) - If we could go on a date again (假如真的再有約會)
> 
> Bless the mods so much for having so much patience with me. Also thank you to A for helping me read this through, and thank you to everyone in the discord for cheering me on in this period, especially T! 
> 
> I also wrote half of this in one night so... uh ... woof. Edited very briefly, so pardon my mistakes and typos. ~~Also at some point I got really tired of writing the romance so it's kind of weak but it's there~~
> 
> The song for this prompt is found [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jik6kfmtm_I). I've put the translations to the lyrics in the **end notes** of this fic.
> 
> A second song you could also play is [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BU5CvWZJBfw). I accidentally found that it was also extremely fitting for this fic. Unsurprisingly, both songs actually come from the same TV series, but I think it's from different seasons. I've also put the translations to the lyrics in the end notes.

"Child, will you sit around the fire and tell me a story?”

Yifan does not recognize the old woman sitting around the hearth, tending to a boiling pot, but surprisingly, there is something inherent about her that makes him sit down and trust her.

“What kind of story would you like to hear, Madam?” He asks respectfully. She looks at him then, a smile on her gentle features. In her eyes he is young again, at the prime of his youth, the best years that a man should have.

“From the beginning, my dear child.” She hands him a bowl, and uses the ladle to pour out some of the contents of the pot into the bowl. The soup within is just about the right flavour, steam curling with satisfaction.

So he speaks.

 

//

 

Yifan always had the lingering feeling that things were wrong.

He was not alone in this assessment - everyone else shared the same sentiments. The Cultivators had not been able to predict the future Fortune of the kingdom for the past 20 years, slightly before Yifan was born. Has the Heavens turned its gaze away from them once again?

His Queen Mother is in the temple once again, hands clasped together as she kneels on the bamboo seat, a prayer under her breath and in her heart as she did everyday. He stands silently until she is done, and he quickly walks forward to help her get up. She leans on him weakly.

“Yifan, my good child, you are here,” She says as he says his greetings, “How are you today?”

“The same as yesterday, Queen Mother. Healthy.” He says and she closes her eyes briefly, before straightening herself up.

She gives one final glance to the five statues of the Lucky Beasts on the altar, and the unlit candles in front. “In this moment where the Heavens have chosen to abandon us, at least they bless you to be free of our torment.”

“Come now, Queen Mother,” Yifan ushers her quietly, “The doctors will be waiting.”

It is a curse, they say, that had befallen the palace. The illness had swept like a plague among the servants, then the guards. The concubines were next. Finally, out of four of the Emperor’s children, three had taken ill, followed quickly by the Queen. Some had said, of course, that Yifan, the only healthy one, had cursed the others for the throne, but those words quickly dissipated when Yifan lost his own mother to the same strange illness. Concubine Jiao had always had a close relationship with her son, after all.

Now they say the Emperor is being punished by the Heavens, he must have done something wrong. He must have. There must be a reason behind all the grief and tragedy, there has to be.

The doctors sweep the Queen away as impatient as they are allowed to, eager to press her back into her bed and to the herbal incense. Yifan stays with her for a while, lets the last mother figure in his life talk to her heart’s content, but then weariness catches up to her and she falls into an eerily silent sleep again.

The Emperor’s eunuch comes to fetch him after a while - his father wants to talk to him in the study. He rises, giving his Queen Mother one last glance. She is a fair Queen, and an even fairer Mother. She had not discriminated against any of the sons and daughters of the Concubines, had treated them like her own children.

When Yifan left the room, his brows furrows for a bit, instinctively. Beckoning to a nearby servant, he asks for another doctor to attend on the Queen.

 

//

 

The Emperor asks about the Queen as soon as Yifan arrives in his study. The figure that had been so strong and mighty for his whole life was now but a wizened and dejected old man who was passing more and more of his tasks to Yifan reluctantly. The Emperor was just in his 50s, he was supposed to be in his prime. Yifan was only a boy of 18, he was not meant to even think about the throne for many, many years.

Midway through their conversation a eunuch hurries into the room, and he is whispering in the Emperor's ears urgently. The Emperor's face changes, a suspicious glint in his eyes as he looks towards the eunuch, as if seeking confirmation for whatever the servant had said.

Finally the Emperor utters a command of his own, and the eunuch hurries out after bowing to Yifan again hastily. "It appears we have guests," The Emperor intones gravely, "Cultivators."

"Here?" Yifan bursts out without thinking, an action he had not done for years, "Cultivators in our kingdom?"

Cultivators were people who could wield mystical powers and lived almost immortal lives, a selected type of people who were more attuned to the Heavens than they were with the mortal world. Their natures dictated that they rarely concerned themselves with the affairs of mortal men - let alone the Emperor of all mortal men.

To be visited by one could be a sign of blessing, but more often than not it meant there was a reason that Cultivators believed they had to intervene in, and that promised more ill than fortune.

The eunuch led two men in the study. Both of them were clad in plain-coloured clothes and looked young, but at the same time there was a certain feeling of agelessness Yifan could associate with them. The man in front simply gave Yifan and the Emperor a slight nod in greeting, and pulled up a chair and sat on it without permission, the entitlement in his eyes clear to view. The other man at the back had a slightly more warmer expression and smile, a deep dimple on his face making him look far more approachable and genuine, but he, too, only bowed his head slightly and sat on the other side of his companion. 

Anger bubbles within Yifan at the Cultivators' arrogance, but he squashes it down painfully. They could not risk angering the Cultivators. He notes deprecatingly that they were the only ones who deserved to exhibit such behaviour.

"Welcome, masters," The Emperor greets solemnly, "It is an honour and privilege of ours to be in your company."

The first man tilts his chin up slightly, the words "I know" written on his face.

"My name is Kim Jongdae," The man's lips curl like a cat, "I represent the large Sects of Cultivators to offer assistance to the royal family in the upcoming crisis." 

"I am Yixing," The man next to him introduces, "I am here to protect your prince."

At the statement Yifan fixes his attention on the man properly. Yixing meets his gaze steadily, blatantly. For some reason, his words now seemed to carry a deeper connotation that Yifan did not know.

"I believe your stew is coming." Jongdae interjects, "We can converse afterwards."

A pregnant pause in the room, then the eunuch is coming in to ask for permission on behalf of the maid carrying the Emperor's midday stew.

The two Cultivators exchange a glance, the first man somewhat playfully. Yixing's gaze meets Yifan, and he gives Yifan a small apologetic smile.

The Emperor waves his hand, allowing the maid entrance. The girl is the one who usually serves the Emperor's stew, an ornate wooden tray in her hands with two bowls of stew on top. "Two?" Yifan asks. "Your Highness, the Queen addressed the kitchen this morning to prepare it for you." The girl answers, setting the bowls down in front of the Emperor and Yifan.

The eunuch tasters takes a spoonful of stew from each bowl, then, after dipping the silver needle within it, they eat it. The silver needle is pristine and the eunuchs aren't dead yet, so they step aside to let the Emperor and Yifan have their meal.

The stew is one made from fresh fish, appetizing and mouthwatering to the average soul. Yifan only wonders idly when his Queen Mother had given the order, for she had been sleeping most of the day and would not have known that Yifan was eating with his father. Nonetheless, it is weird to have two Cultivators in the room stare as they eat - for Cultivators had no need for food or water to sustain themselves, offering them plain food and water was commonly seen as an insult - not to mention that Yifan could feel Yixing staring at him intently as he dips his spoon into the stew, as if he was some kind of foreign, fascinating creature to observe.

He is about to open his mouth to eat when there is a sudden pain in his hand, making him drop the spoon abruptly. At the same time, the bowl of stew in front of him goes flying across the room, shattering against the wall, its contents dropping in a muddy pile in the corner.

"Masters!" The Emperor says sharply, but quickly collects himself. The rage of a king is there, but there is also the fear of mortal men.

Rubbing his hand, Yifan's gaze on the Cultivators turn angry as well. They may be closer to the Gods than mortals are, but how dare they come in and disrespect an Emperor and the crown prince like this?

Jongdae raises an eyebrow at his companion, and Yixing explains slowly, "The stew was poisoned."

From the folds of his robes Yixing pulls out a small little white mouse and puts it down on the floor. Sniffing the air gently, the mouse darts across the empty space towards the spilled stew, proceeding to burying its snout into what is meant to be the Prince's food.

The mouse seems happy enough with its meal, little paws digging more food into its mouth. Then it suddenly staggers away, raising its paws to scratch at the back of its ears. Losing balance, it falls flat on the carpet, its back legs paddling furiously in the air.

To Yifan's shock, in a few heartbeats, it lays still on the floor, unmoving. He just stares at it for a moment, involuntarily starting to imagine _himself_ as that mouse -

"Ludicrous!" The Emperor roars, "Investigate this, right now!"

There is a sharp burst of volume between the servants, and then they are filing out, a maid rushing out to fetch the doctors, another going to fetch the head of imperial guard. Eunuch Lin is by the Emperor's side, whispering low, reassuring words, coaxing the Emperor to loosen his grip on his chair and recollect himself.

"Seize the woman that brought this in." Yifan snarls, and the guards rush to do his bidding. The maid is still holding the tray in hands, her head bowed, seemingly unfazed by the panic taking place in the room.

The guard nearest to her goes to grab her by the arm, but as soon as his fingers graze the edge of her dress, fractures suddenly appear all over her skin and clothes, as if she was a porcelain doll and not an actual human being.

"Back off!" Jongdae shouts, suddenly appearing in front of the guard and pushing him backwards. From nowhere he flings out five flags made out of velvet, each around as big as a palm. As if having a mind of their own, they hover in midair and start to encircle the maid.

The fractures across the woman widens even further, an eerie black liquid beginning to ooze from the cracks. Then suddenly, with a harsh scream of sound, a burst of fire and light envelops Yifan's vision, and he flings himself backward in panic.

"Witchcraft!" One of the eunuchs' scream echoes the thought in Yifan's mind.

The fire and light seem to suddenly hit an invisible wall, contained within the perimeter set by the five flags. The Cultivator grimaces, and a sword suddenly appears in his hands. He brings it down amongst the fire, eliciting another sharp shriek, and then the light fades away. Where the maid once stood now sits a gigantic black slug, as big as Yifan's forearm, cut into half.

Jongdae waves his hand in the direction of the slug, and it bursts into flame again, quickly turning crisp and into ash. Yifan lets out a breath he had not known he was holding. "Is it dead?" He asks, "What was it?"

"A puppet bug," Yixing explains patiently, "The puppeteer plants them in people to gain control over them."

Now the situation is under control, Yifan picks himself back up with the dignity of a prince, and immediately there are eunuchs rushing to his attention. The eunuch that had tasted his food for him has gone as pale as a sheet, but stays silent. Yifan turns to Yixing in question.

"You have ingested it but 10 minutes ago," He smiles gently, his dimple deepening, "Your doctors are capable enough to heal you."

Yifan nods his thanks, then gives orders to see to it that he gets proper treatment immediately. At the other side of the table, Eunuch Lin is helping the Emperor sit up straight. His crown is slightly crooked, and he is rubbing his chest with one hand. "I thank you for your assistance, masters," The Emperor says in resignation, "Please, stay as long as you want."

The doctors are hurried in, and two of them start poking at the puddle of soup, lying forgotten in the corner as the rest attend to the Emperor and Yifan. "There are traces of lilac needle flower in the stew, your majesty." One of the doctor reports, "It is a poisonous flower that can render one paralyzed."

Yifan sucks in a huge breath, and starts to think that maybe it's a good thing Jongdae and Yixing are here, even if they can destroy him with a snap of fingers.

 

//

 

Yifan sees much of the Cultivators in the next few days. Hearing the Cultivators' request, the Emperor had had Yifan allocate one of his many guest rooms in his court to the two. As Yifan hurried in his normal duties, he could sometimes spot Jongdae and Yixing in the gardens, either playing chess, or drinking tea, with no sign that they were here for the supernatural.

Sometimes, however, Yifan would turn a corner and Yixing would be there, his eyes lighting up, as if it was only a coincidence that he would see Yifan there.

The attention both scares and flatters Yifan. Cultivators were such strong and mysterious creatures, to receive the favour of one seemed to tell him that he would be destined for great things. Yixing had the expected aloofness of a Cultivator, but it seemed he was extremely tolerant when it came to Yifan, even if Yifan was a mortal. Putting aside Yixing's identity as a Cultivator, he was easy to get along with.

What Yifan had taken as uncanny interest from the other man now became genuine delight. It seemed like Yixing really wanted to get to know him. They spent many afternoons together, playing chess or simply reading together in the same room. Being in such close vicinity with a Cultivator excited Yifan at first, but he later grew to appreciate Yixing's company in itself.

Yixing was truly very handsome, as all Cultivators tended to be, but Yixing attracted Yifan like a moth to fire in a way Jongdae did not. His smiles were warm and bright, dimples so deep Yifan sometimes just wanted to poke them with a finger. He wanted to get to know the other man, wanted to know what he liked, what he disliked -

If Yixing was not a Cultivator, and Yifan not a prince, perhaps he would have done so already.

 

//

 

Gentle shakes startle Yifan out of his fitful sleep. Seeing that he is awake, the maidservant falls to her feet instantly. "The deepest of apologies for awaking you, your highness," She says demurely, "But Eunuch Lin delivers a message from the Emperor. He requests your presence in the Emperor's Chambers."

Her words are casual and matter-of-fact, as if it was a regular occurrence - but the Emperor does not summon anyone into his Chambers, not even his own son, not even his own wife, to say the last in the middle of the night. She dresses him and he throws the door to his chambers open, revealing an impatient but still immobile eunuch. The eunuch greets him reverently, but Yifan just storms off.

The walk to his father's rooms are long and windy, the beautiful flowers and ornate pillars that line the path just a blur in Yifan's periphery. He has to muster up every last shred of his willpower to not lose his decorum, but his footsteps are becoming more and more hurried.

The King's room is dimly lit, and there are lords and ministers gathered around him. When the eunuch announces his arrival, they make a path for him to the head of the bed, but their gazes are sorrowful and sympathetic, and all too painful to Yifan's eyes.

"The Emperor has passed on already." One of the royal cousins whispers gravely as Yifan approaches his father's prone body. "He wouldn't let us summon you until..."

The Emperor is without his golden robes and adornments, lying in his bed in plain clothes, eyes closed, hands resting on top his stomach.

Yifan knows why his father hadn't called him to his bedside - not because he did not love his last remaining son, but because he hadn't wanted to witness the moment where his son finally realized his father was not infallible. What his father hadn't known was that Yifan had already realized this a long time ago - and more so why he had wanted his father to live longer, just a bit longer, teach him more, instead of just leaving him here, alone, aimless.

With shaking hands, Eunuch Lin takes out the Emperor's last testament. With a tearful voice, the eunuch announces that the remaining members of the royal family were to be given Lordships and had to leave the capital, before the illness spread to them. He announced orders to himself, somewhat pridefully, to enter the tomb with the Emperor to guard the Emperor until death. Finally, Yifan kneels in front of his father's bed as Eunuch Lin reads out the last paragraph of the Emperor's testament.

"...Out of all my sons, Yifan, the eldest, comes from a family consisting of courageous warriors. Talented in both the language and the arts, my son is to be the beacon of light for the kingdom and the Wu royal family. He will be revered by those who come after him as a kind and compassionate man, and I deeply believe that he will become a better ruler than those before him."

It is with such heavy words the testament ends, and Eunuch Lin folds the testament up, trembling with grief. Yifan remains kneeling, his gaze fixed on his father's silent form. Is that what he expected from Yifan? Is that what he saw in Yifan? How could he leave him with such heavy pressure, and not be by his side to guide him?

One of the royal cousins move to help him stand up, but Yifan waves him off. A beacon of light? Where was the light? His own mother was dead, and the Queen and his siblings were deathly ill. And now the rest of the royal family were to move out, leaving him alone to rule, in this palace that is too big for one man.

Finally, when the candles burn down and have to be replaced, Eunuch Lin ushers Yifan out of the room, saying that they have to prepare the Emperor - the former Emperor's body for his funeral.

The word has spread already, and when Yifan sees his own eunuchs and maids waiting for him outside, they quickly bow in the rituals towards an Emperor. The sight of it only makes Yifan's heart more heavy, and he dismisses them all impatiently.

It is ill-fitting, he thinks. Inappropriate. His footsteps take him to the temple, which is devoid of even its monks at this hour. The five stone statues stare innocently at him above the altar, each cradling a candle in its paws. The fires had gone out, one night 20 years ago, and had refused to be re-ignited since then.

The White Tiger held justice, the Qilin prosperity and peace. The Xuanwu oversaw knowledge, the Emerald Dragon was the defender from evil. Finally, the Phoenix sat atop the wheel of reincarnation, watching over life and death. The five Lucky Beasts that were supposed to be the guardians of humanity, silent and nowhere to be seen.

Yifan wants to ask them, grab them by the neck and force them to answer him. Why had they created such an earth and abandoned it? They had greedily taken all of their prayers and offerings, but had refused to give them just _one little_  blessing, refused to give them any shard of hope. What kind of useless gods were they?

A sudden touch on his shoulder startles him, and Yifan looks back to see Yixing standing behind him. The Cultivator is examining the statues on the altar, an unreadable expression on his face.

“I knew I would find you here,” Yixing murmurs, hand resting fully on Yifan's shoulder. Yifan covers Yixing's hands with his own, but he does not look up to meet the other man's gaze. What more could he say?

Without him noticing, the burden of the world had suddenly been passed onto his shoulders, and he is already buckling under its weight. “Why are you awake?” He asks instead. His voice cracks slightly.

“I knew you needed someone.” Yixing hums, his voice low and soothing, like a fresh creek trickling down between the valley. There seems to be something left unsaid, but Yifan does not press. Regardless, he is thankful for Yixing’s presence. There is no one else to turn to - he is - was - the second most respected person in the palace, and now the first. No one dares console him, dares even question the idea that he would ever be vulnerable to something as trivial as emotions.

There is something aching in Yifan’s chest, something he knows he must quench, that he doesn’t dare even touch. He struggles against it, then he remembers that he - he is now the Emperor, and Yixing is a Cultivator and were not meant to be trapped in the courts of men.

"You are ready for this," Yixing continues, oblivious to Yifan’s inner thoughts, "You were born to be king over men. You cannot be more prepared for the throne, and under your reign, there will be peace and prosperity once again. Do not fear, for you are capable. I have faith in you."

These are not the words Yifan is sure he wants to hear now, but they are the ones he must.

 

//

 

Jongdae seeks him out after the funeral. Yifan is still clad in the mourning clothes of white, sitting by himself on the stone chairs in the pagoda of his garden, simply sitting and staring at the direction of the mountains behind the temple, where the Emperor's tomb is. There is a jug of wine on the table. The cup in front of Yifan is filled, but he has not touched it.

"I am sorry for your loss," Jongdae says gently, "A just man like him will be reincarnated into a good family."

"Thank you." Yifan intones, finally taking a sip of wine. Jongdae appears in the seat opposite his gracefully, and a cup made of marble appears in his hands as he helps himself to the wine. The two of them simply sit there, drinking out of their little cups.

"Why is there suffering in this world?" Yifan asks, eventually breaking the silence, his head buzzing lightly, "Why did the Heavens create mankind just for them to suffer?"

"But you have also reaped benefits from the earth," Jongdae explains, "There is a balance in this world. Where there is life, there is the same amount of death. Where there is good, the same amount of evil, so on so forth. The Heavens can only assist us only as much as Hell haunts us."

Yifan heaves out a long, shuddering sigh, feeling less and less like a man and more like a boy.  "Can Cultivators really communicate with the Heavens?"

"No." Jongdae laughs lightly, "That is a lie. Cultivators can gain power from the Heaven, just like - you know the story of the five Lucky Beasts, do you not?" At Yifan's nod, he continues, "The Lucky Beasts guard the gates of the Heavens, and we gain power the same way as they do, with the hopes that one day, they will recognize and accept us as one of them and let us in the Heavens. Right now, I am far from being able to even consider approaching the Heavens, and may never witness it .

“They say those who glimpse into the Heavens are punished severely for seeing what we are not meant to,” Jongdae says casually, “A long long time ago, Cultivators roamed the land, reading the skies, living thousands of years before finally becoming Immortals and ascending into the Heavens, leaving the human realm behind. Now, Cultivators are punished everyday for spying on the secrets of the Heavens.

“But that is the way of the Cultivator. We are fighting against the Heavens, after all. We are not meant to be in the human realm.”

“What happened?”

“We were-” Jongdae stops himself. “I will not tell you, for you are not meant to step on the path of a Cultivator. Least to say, the Heavens took away the art of Cultivating from the human realm and sealed off all channels to the Heavens. No one has ascended since then.”

“But why?” Yifan asks, “Why loom over us, yet now allow us to understand the way of the Heavens?”

Jongdae gives Yifan a morose look. “I told you, young prince, there is a balance in this world. Where there is gain, there must be loss. Cultivators gain immortality, but lose their humanity in the process. We are unable to reincarnate like you do, and hence, become nothing after death. Conversely, if we are unable to leave the human realm, we can never gain immortality. If we are to glimpse into the way of the Heavens, we must give up something of equal value in return. As humans, we have nothing worthy that can ever compensate for the secrets of the Heavens, not even our lives.”

Yifan casts his gaze into the intricate wooden carvings that dance across the banister. How greedy the Heavens are, if even a human life is not enough.

 

//

 

The Queen passes on a few days after the Emperor, and Yifan's three siblings quickly follow.

 

//

 

On the day of his coronation, Yixing has to talk Yifan into removing his white clothing. "It feels so wrong, Yixing," He mutters, "It's not the right time."

"It isn't." Yixing agrees, a firm set to his lips, "But this is what happened, and you have a duty to fulfill."

The black and white is replaced by the colour of gold, impossibly heavy on Yifan's shoulders. The eunuchs lead the ceremony, the perfect keepers of rituals and rites that meant nothing to Yifan right now.

The procession begins. Most of the rituals are unnecessary and painfully empty. When finally, the crown rests upon his head and the lords fall onto their knees, proclaiming him Emperor in his honour, there is no sensation of honour or glory, just a deepening feeling of dread.

 

//

 

The lords only give him a few days in the throne before all sorts of petitions begin landing on the desk of his study. Half of them circle around the poisoned stew and the show of witchcraft, and most of the lords seem to have attributed the mysterious illness of the royal family to witchcraft as well.

"They want answers," Yifan groans to Yixing when the other man comes visit him one afternoon, "And I don't know where to start looking for them."

"Perhaps some answers were not meant to be found." Yixing says casually, sipping at the expensive tea one of the lords had gifted Yifan on his coronation.

"Cultivators know all the answers, don't they?" Yifan sighs good-naturedly, "Do you know the answer to this one?"

He's expecting Yixing to just laugh it off, but to his surprise the man suddenly chokes on his tea.

"Wait, you do know the answer?" Yifan frowns. "You know who killed my family?"

Yixing put his tea cup down, refusing to meet Yifan's gaze.

"So you do know?" Yifan presses. Yixing nods reluctantly. "Could I not keep it secret from you?" He asks.

"If I am to be convincing as Emperor, I must know." Yifan insists, "Already this kingdom is falling apart."

"Is that what you think?" Yixing counters, "That only by redeeming your father and appeasing the lords that your rule will become legitimate? Are you not skilled in your own right to protect your people?"

Yifan frowns. "Those words are almost cold, Yixing," He sighs, "I know you do not mean to offend, but he is- was my father."

Yixing winces, which makes Yifan almost guilty for saying what he said, but he also knows Yixing is giving in. "I simply think it not wise," Yixing murmurs, "But if it is what you want, your majesty, I will give it to you. There are rumours of a strong sorcerer hiding in the barbarian tribes to the West of the kingdom, in the one with the strongest horses."

Yifan feels momentary guilt at forcing the answer out of Yixing, when it was clear he had been unwilling to give it. "Thank you." He says, "Ride west with me."

Yixing closes his eyes, and Yifan's guilt deepens. "What is it, Yixing?" He asks, "You can tell me everything, you know that."

"I will not go with you." Yixing grounds out, and Yifan's face falls. "I cannot meet the sorcerer." Yixing sighs. "Kill him where he stands, and come back to your people."

"I will do whatever you say." Yifan repeats. Yixing's gaze softens, the emotion in his eyes too dangerous, drawing Yifan in like a drug.

"Keep this with you." A necklace appears in his hands, and he holds it up to Yifan. An oval, orange plate is at the end of it, about the size of Yixing's palm.

"Would you put it on for me?" Yifan blurts out, immediately regretting it. To his delight, Yixing is only shocked slightly, but acquiesces and puts the necklace on for Yifan, tucking the plate inside his shirt.

"It is the scale of a Qilin," Yixing explains as he smoothens Yifan's clothes, his fingers burning marks into Yifan's skin through his clothes. "It will protect you from all harm."

"A Qilin?" Yifan repeats in slight disbelief, "One of the Lucky Beasts? How did you-"

Yixing simply gives a small smile.

"You have been with me this whole time," Yifan says, clenching his fists nervously, "You have come in my time of crisis. Why?"

"I have done nothing," Yixing lowers his gaze, "It has all been you, your majesty."

His words are sour to Yifan's ears, and he turns to walk towards the other man. "That is not what I want to hear." He insists, and reaches out to grab Yixing by the wrists.

"Then what do you want to hear?" Yixing's eyes are clear and calm as water, and all Yifan can see is his own reflection. Then Yixing's gaze flickers downwards, and Yifan's tongue darts out involuntarily to wet his lips.

Yifan isn't sure what he wants to hear from Yixing, but -

At the end of the day, Yifan is barely an adult, and Yixing is the one who is ageless.

Yixing sighs, his breath hot against Yifan's, and the older man leans in. Their lips brush against each other lightly, Yixing’s eyes so close to his own there is something tight in Yifan’s chest. The older man seems to be searching for something in Yifan’s eyes, and upon not finding it, Yixing leans back with a slightly disappointed sigh.

But then Yifan's grip on Yixing's wrists are tightening as he presses the Cultivator in closer, his eyes fluttering close. They slot against each other perfectly. Yifan still doesn’t quite know what he is doing - doesn’t know what this attraction meant, if it really was there - but the present moment is sweet and if Yifan can have this moment, it is enough.

He should not be kissing a man, let alone a Cultivator, but everything seems so perfect and comfortable right now. Perhaps it is knowing that what they have is wrong that makes Yifan want to chase it even more. How he wanted time to just stop here! Just him and Yixing, no witches and sorcery, no kings and queens, just the two of them.

Yixing is the one to step back again, easily freeing himself from Yifan's tight hold given that he was a Cultivator. "Promise me one thing, your majesty," He says, and Yifan nods. "Demons are master seducers. Never talk to them, and if you have to, never let their words sway you."

"I promise." Yifan vows, "I will come back to you."

Yixing purses his lips, and Yifan wants to capture them with his own again, but the Cultivator is holding himself distant.

"I do not need you to come back to me," Yixing finally says, and Yifan's heart drops a little. "I need you to come back to your people. Remember who you are, Yifan, and you will come back to me."

 

//

 

By the time he arrives at the westernmost city, the army there has already decimated most of the barbarian tribes and have already found the man he needed.

"His calls himself Hundun, your majesty," The General says as he leads Yifan to the prison cell they have the man in. "Where are the guards?" Yifan asks, looking around at the completely empty prison.

"Th- there are no guards, your majesty," The General stutters, "All of the men I posted here began to grow black sores and died the next day. The sorcerer promises that he will not run, and that- and that he is looking forward to seeing you."

"Should I be worried?" Yifan snorts, picking up his pace towards the only lit cell. If the sorcerer wanted to curse him, he would have been dead already.

The cell is fairly large, and Yifan motions for the General to unlock it so he can step inside. The sorcerer is quite a fat, chubby man with tanned skin, sitting on the chair in the middle of the room. A black robe with a hood gives him a sufficient air of mystery. His hands are chained behind it.

Eyes the colour of amethyst appraises Yifan when he steps inside. "I would bow, your majesty," The sorcerer says, "But you see the predicament I am in."

"The General seems to believe you also sought to have this audience with me." Yifan demands instead.

"That I did, your majesty," The sorcerer grins, "I am Hundun, the sorcerer who cursed your family and tried to poison you."

Yifan has to take in a huge breath to calm himself down, and he starts to walk out of the cell, motioning for the general to come closer. "Kill him." He mutters, but Hundun suddenly calls for him.

"Your majesty!" The sorcerer is leaning back against the chair, as if his hands were not bound and he was simply enjoying the seating. "You have a strong amulet on you," He says nonchalantly, "Is it perchance the scale of a Qilin? I wonder how your friend got a scale off a Qilin. Only the most powerful of monsters would be able to hurt a Lucky Beast."

Yifan's hand automatically goes up to his chest, where the scale lies beneath his robes. "If you continue, I will have your mouth sewn shut first." He says, turning back to look at Hundun.

“Do you not remember the candles that went out 20 years ago?” The sorcerer hissed, seemingly unfazed by the threat, "Whose fault did you think it was?"

The reminder takes Yifan aback. How did Hundun know about that? The temple in the palace grounds were only accessible by its monks and the royal family.

"Cultivators don't come and protect mortals for such a long time out of their god-given kindness," Hundun points out, "They approached you and your family with a  _purpose_. Don't you find it interesting that the Emperor, the Queen, and the other princes and princesses passed on just a few days after they arrived at your palace?"

"Shut up!" Yifan snaps, "How dare you insult the Cultivators with your filthy insinuations!"

"You must recognize the real demons, my king!" Hundun insists, "And there is one easy way to do it! The monks have a Demon-Revealing Mirror in their possession - they will identify the true monster!"

The thought is prickling to Yifan's mind, and he lets his displeasure at the suggestion show.

“If what I am saying is fake,” Hundun continues, “Then the Mirror will prove it. It is not my Mirror, is that not so? It is your monks'. But if what I am saying is true... Can you risk it?”

"They saved my life!" Yifan snaps, stalking away from Hundun with his hands behind his back. There is a weird churning in his stomach, unsettling and disconcerting. "You are a king," The sorcerer hisses, "Are you not going to do what is best for your kingdom?"

Yifan storms out of the cell, the General hastily locking i back up and running to catch him. "Do I proceed with the execution, your majesty?" He asks nervously. Yifan shakes his head, a sinking feeling at the back of his throat.

 

//

 

"You didn't do as I say."

Yixing has his back facing the door that Yifan walked in of, staring out of the window. Yifan had come to Yixing's room, that was given to him when he had first arrived with Jongdae. There is no one else in the area, Jongdae off doing gods know what in another city, and all the maids and eunuchs had been sent off by Yifan when he had entered. Whatever happened here, was only to be between Yifan and Yixing.

"What do you mean?" Yifan swallows nervously. Had Yixing been spying on him?

"You reek of him." Yixing mutters. "Hundun. Chaos."

"I needed answers." Yifan sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Did you at least kill him?" Yixing turns to face him, faint desperation in his voice.

"The General will organize the execution," Yifan said, slightly puzzled.

"You didn't- you- you had to be the one!" Yixing sputters out, swaying slightly as if on the verge of collapsing, "Why didn't you-"

"Yixing..." Yifan interrupts, "This is not wartime, an Emperor does not draw his sword unless it is. And you told me to come back to you, so I came back as soon as things were settled. What's wrong?"

Yixing just stares at him, as if he had grown three heads. "You're right." He finally breathes out shakily, "You're right. I told you that, didn't I?

"Things didn't turn out the way I thought they would," Yixing is talking even faster now, his calm and collected decorum falling apart into disarray uncharacteristically, alarming Yifan, "I thought I knew you, and I do, but it seems like me appearing here made you different and the more I try the more you turn away from what you are meant to be, and it makes me wonder what I have truly protected you from, and what entirely I had given up 100 years of my life for, but at the same time I don't really regret it - what is in your hands?"

Yifan's heart skips a beat. He looks down to the plain wooden hand mirror. When the monks had given this to him, he had thought that they were pulling a prank on him, but they assured him very firmly that this was the Demon-Revealing Mirror.

"A mirror." His voice is eerily calm.

"Throw it away." Yixing says in disdain.

"Okay." Yifan says, but out of nowhere there is a huge force wrenching him forward by the hand, and then the mirror is facing Yixing, who is staring at the small little hand mirror in horror.

Yixing's scream makes Yifan jump back and the mirror slips from his grasp, but Hundun is there, suddenly materializing in front of him, catching the mirror and forcing it even closer towards Yixing.

There is a thundering noise, despite the fact that it was the middle of the day, and Yixing is hunched over, his hands in front of his face protectively. Yifan is sprawled on the ground, his eyes darting between Hundun and Yixing in horror. "You should be dead." He points at Hundun, "The General should have executed you!"

"Oh, him?" Hundun cackles, "He was generally incompetent in that area, but he did taste delicious."

Fear paralyzes Yifan and he can only stare, first at Hundun, his amethyst eyes gleaming under his black hood. Across the room. There is a burst of white light, and where Yixing was now stands a beast, a monster, about as big as a bear.

"This is what your lover is!" Hundun's cackles grow louder, "This is the thing you kissed!"

Yifan is still trying to wrap his head around the fact that there was an actual _monster_  in front of him, and his heart is racing so fast it is about to leap out of his chest, but then he actually _looks_ at the monster and he realizes he _recognizes_ what he sees.

"The Qilin!" Yifan gasps out, and the beast's large amber eyes turn onto him. Eyes of a tiger, muzzle of a lion, antlers of a deer, body of an elaphure, scales of a dragon, tail of an ox - it was a creature only seen in sculpture and literature, but Yifan had prayed to it enough times.

“I didn’t actually plan on killing your father so soon,” Hundun cackled, “An old, wizening man - what is there to fear? But you - once I knew the Qilin was by your side, I simply couldn’t resist. Imagining the face of heartbreak from an Emperor - I simply couldn’t resist. You must forgive me, my child, you must.”

All Yifan can do is point a shaking fingers at Hundun, the world spinning around him over and over again. "What have you made me do?" His voice cracks as he demands this.

The earth shakes again and Yifan falls onto his back. To his horror, Hundun is also transforming, flesh ripping out of his black robes as his laughing face becomes more and more deformed. His limbs and face begins to shrink into the pink flesh, which is becoming more and more leathery as it expands. Six mottled wings burst out of its back, and the ball of flesh expands so much it stops mere inches away from the palace roof. Yifan can barely see it in its entirety, four massive, trunk-like legs supporting the monster.

Suddenly a sharp pain ricochets through Yifan's head, and he screams, clutching his head as he tries to hobble away from both beasts. Hundun roars again soundlessly, and the impact of it makes Yifan scream again and trip over his feet.

Then there is the roaring of thunder that blocks it out, giving Yifan time to pick himself up and run for cover, before scalding fire rushes out from the Qilin's mouth as it hovers in front of Hundun. The fire makes Hundun stagger back, his body breaking the wall behind him. Black mist begins to ooze from Hundun's body, quickly filling the room. Yifan tries to back away from it, and upon realizing that it was in vain, panics, but then he realizes the black mist is giving his body a wide berth. Against his chest, the Qilin's scale is heating up, and he clutches it desperately, deeply regretting all that he had and had not done.

The  Qilin doesn't look as good in comparison. It lands back on the ground, still spewing fire out of its mouth, but the black mist is encircling it, slowing its movements. It shakes its massive head, roaring again with displeasure.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" Yifan can hear Hundun's taunts in his mind, as despicable as the words he had heard Hundun say out loud. "Of course you gave the scale above your heart to the human. I'm sure he appreciates it. You? Not so much."

The scale against Yifan's chest burns up even more, and Yifan's eyes began to prickle. Why had he done this? Yixing had done so much for him without Yifan even noticing. Yifan owed Yixing _his life_ , and this was how Yifan repaid him.

The Qilin roars again, and his fire seems to have hit a soft spot, for Hundun snarls loudly, bounding across the room and headbutting the Qilin, sending the smaller beast flying across the room. There are cracks on the floor from where Hundun had ran.

"You are too weak for me!" Hundun snorts, "I look forward to eating you alive!"

The place the Qilin had landed is close to Yifan, and despite the danger, he runs across and kneels next to the beast's big head. The Qilin seems to be very weak, barely responsive, but his large eyes are blinking slowly.

"Yifan..." The voice in his head is oh so familiar. "My brothers are calling me. I cannot win Chaos, my brothers must take my place. If I leave, I will never come back."

Yifan's puts a hand on the Qilins's - Yixing's muzzle, as an act of comfort.

"I fell in love with you as I gazed from the Heavens.” Yixing's voice is calm, as if he is telling a story of someone else. His large eye is enough to reflect most of Yifan's body in it. “Your courage, your honour, your determination - you filled me with longing for life.

“I couldn't bear to see you die the way you did, pitiful, full of regrets, thinking the world had abandoned you. I wanted to give you a happy ending."

"What do you mean?" Yifan asks, his hands stroking and petting Yixing with the care of a lover, "I am alive. You protected me, over and over again."

"I must go. I really shouldn't have been the one to come down here." Yixing laughs. Its muzzle raises up to touch Yifan on the cheek gently, and then the Qilin is gone in a flash of green light, leaving him to kneel there alone. The phantom sensation of Yixing's lips upon his returns and lingers.

When Yifan comes back to reality, he realizes that he is crying. His vision is blurry and his robes are scrunched up and soaked.

In front of him, there is a gigantic white tiger flying above Hundun, jets of ice coming from its mouth and claws. Hundun is angrier now, but the black mist seems to do little to the White Tiger. Between the time Yifan takes to collect himself and wipe away the last of his tears, Hundun is pierced to the ground with a gigantic spear of ice that protrudes from one end of the body to the other, and the White Tiger is stalking towards him.

"If I die, the whole world burns with me!" Hundun cackles with his last dying breath, "My existence was the only thing stopping the demons from crawling out of Hell, and now they will roam free on this land!"

The White Tiger huffs dismissively, and another spear of ice buries itself deep into Hundun's flesh.

Yifan raises his head at the beast, who only sniffs at him dismissively. "If you are such a coward," The White Tiger mutters, "Then you have no purpose going anywhere, since nothing you do is of your own determination and initiative."

A sharp pain in Yifan's spine makes him cry out, and the next moment he can feel nothing in his legs. He could no longer move them, could no longer feel them, and he looks up at the White Tiger in anguish. But he doesn't protest it.

“That is the punishment for gazing at the true form of Heavenly beings.” The White Tiger’s voice is harsh and heaving. “And from you and your lineage, I take away the blessing of the Emerald Dragon, for there is now no more Cruel Beasts and there will be no more Lucky Beasts on the world. This is the curse your family bears.”

"Wait," Yifan cries out, trying to reach a hand out to cling onto the deity, "What's going to happen to my people now?"

"The gates to Heaven and Hell are now wide open," The White Tiger answers, "The last greatest being of Hell is dead, and there are no more Lucky Beasts or Cruel Beasts roaming this plane. There are now no more things on this world that will stop Cultivators and demons alike from walking their destined paths. Cultivators will ascend and demons will crawl out of the earth, and the balance will continue. As I speak, they are scrambling out of Hell and are about to take the first mortals as their victims."

The White Tiger's eyes are an icy blue, and his gaze is surprisingly full of compassion. "Go protect your people, human." He says, "They will need you now more than ever."

 

//

 

True to the White Tiger's words, Yifan has no time to mourn about absolutely everything that had happened. By the time the imperial guard, who had seen the commotion, reaches him, demons are already tearing men and women apart like paper, and two lost legs could not stop Yifan from doing what is right for his people. He had lost too much already, and the people of his kingdom was the only thing left for him to treasure and love.

There are resources to be sent, armies to be raised, people to shelter and feed, and by the time Yifan does have time to rest, he feels like he had grown ten years older.

His eunuchs have found a wheelchair for him, and they are wheeling him back to his room to rest when he spots fabric among the greenery of his gardens. Upon closer look, it is Jongdae, seemingly sunbathing in the middle of the garden.

"Why are you here?" Yifan asks, staring down at the Cultivator.

"I am leaving," Jongdae answers him, "My teacher is summoning me. I have to return to my Sect and join them in the fight against the demons. I always enjoyed your gardens, so I'd thought I'd steal a few minutes here first."

"I have some questions for you." Yifan started, and the eunuch lifts and places Yifan on the grass next to Jongdae.

"I didn't actually know Yixing before coming here," Jongdae volunteers, "We simply met along the way and realized we had the same destination. I knew who he was, of course - I ascertained his motives were pure, so I helped him get here."

"There was something Yixing said," Yifan says instead, "About how he had seen me die. Is it possible? To turn back time?"

“There are- there are legends, of course.” Jongdae says hesitantly, his gaze faraway and distant, “Of the Fire Phoenix being able to turn back time and space, creating a new reality - but the Lucky Beasts would not be affected. They would know exactly what would happen, and they would not be allowed to interfere directly, to change time as they see fit. Perhaps that explains why they went silent, 20 years ago.”

"So Yixing saw my fate, and turned back time for me." Yifan muses. "I wonder how much has changed."

Jongdae gives a wistful little sigh. "Don't think too much about it. My master always says the more you try to fight against what is meant to be, the worse it gets. What is yours is yours. What isn't will never be."

"Your master is very wise." Yifan says, then quickly adds, "Of course, as expected."

Jongdae just laughs, and they both fall silent.

Yifan never knew his gardens were so nice to lie in. The sun is not that  bright, just warm enough, soothing and gentle like a golden blanket. The smell of fresh grass is in his nose, mingling with the scent of the flowers.

“Is it not cruel, to have mortals fight the war of gods?” Yifan eventually ventures, “How could we have ever defeated immortals with our own strength?”

“What is predestined should remain so.” Jongdae murmurs again, “Changing it forcefully incurs wrath. You mortals always try to change your fate, but it is like throwing an egg against a wall."

Yifan grimaces. "Aren't Cultivators aspiring to change their own fate by fighting against the Heavens? You want to be gods, when you are humans."

Jongdae’s smile is weak. It is there, but weak. “A king is a creature of this world. A Cultivator is a creature looking to the Heavens. Only those that aspire to leave this world can reach the Heavens, and those who keep their eyes on the earth will never see the clouds above. Even if we are the egg, at least we tried."

"Will I ever see him again?" Yifan sighs, suddenly extremely weary. There is an aching hole in his heart that he hadn't known had existed.

"Did you love him?" Jongdae asks instead. "The greatest of loves can move the Heavens, that's what they all say."

Yifan closes his eyes, hoping that the wind was stronger, that it would blow him away, take away the emptiness within him. "I don't know. I probably did." He finally admits. "We did not have enough time."

“My teacher was right,” Jongdae pauses, patting off grass from his robes, “I am concerning myself too much with the affairs of man. I am a Cultivator, after all. If you would excuse me, my king, I must join my fellow Cultivators in fighting off demons. This is our destiny, after all."

Then the Cultivator is gone, leaving Yifan alone in this big, lonely palace.

 

//

 

If Yifan had thought the past 20 years to be without the protection of the Lucky Beasts, then the next 60 he lives is far worse. Caught between the war of Cultivators and demons are the poor mortal people, alternating between victims of demons' cruelty, or collateral damage. 60 years see at least 3 generations of Yifan's people be turn asunder. Yet to both Cultivator and demon, 60 years is just a blink of an eye.

When he rests in his death bed, it is with great reluctance, and he had refused to close his eyes, even as he could no longer feel the rest of his limbs, for he knew that his people were suffering out there, and he was defenseless.

After his eyelids does finally slide shut, he awakes again next to the hearth, young and strong again. There is a boiling pot on the hearth, and an old lady tending to it. She invites him to sit, and Yifan knows that at least, after death, he will no longer be alone.

 

//

 

“You have lived a short, miserable, yet worthy life.” The old lady smiles crookedly when he is done.

“I caused my kingdom to lose everything.” Yifan replies calmly. How long had he been sitting there? 5 minutes? 10 years? Steam continues to dance on top of the soup in his hands.

“Ah, but you were also the only one who could fulfill the world's destined path,” The old lady points out, her eyes twinkling with mirth, “You were the only one who could do so. That is the curse your family bears.”

Yifan looks into the fire, and is lost in it momentarily.

“What will happen in the future?”

“The balance will continue,” The old lady replies, “Where there is loss, there will be gain. Where there is gain, there will be loss. Thank you for your story, my child,” The old lady murmurs, “Now drink, and you will be on your way.”

He drinks.

 

//

 

....

 

//

 

Once upon a time, the Flood Dragon fled into and rampaged the human realm. One of the five Lucky Beasts, the Emerald Dragon, went down to the earth to defeat his son, but the Flood Dragon took the opportunity to launch an attack on the Heavenly Court with armies raised in Hell. Without their leader, the other four Lucky Beasts were unable to keep the Four Cruel Beasts under their imprisonment and defend themselves from the assailants. The Emerald Dragon eventually kills the Flood Dragon, but bears the responsibility of letting the Four Cruel Beasts escape into the human realm. As atonement, the Emerald Dragon asks the Phoenix to reincarnate him as human. The Jiao warrior that is born unites all the humans into the prosperous Jiao Kingdom, protecting the humans from the Four Cruel Beasts and the creatures from Hell. In exchange for holding the Emerald Dragon’s lineage, the channels between the Heavens, Hell, and the human realm are closed off to keep the balance to prevent the Cruel Beasts from amassing armies of demons. In turn, the Emerald Dragon’s descendants carry the task of hunting down the Cruel Beasts. Three of the Cruel Beasts fall, and the memory of them also crumble into dust.

Over the centuries, however, the Cruel Beasts have bred demons that grow in the hearts of humans, and the Jiao dynasty becomes diluted and corrupted.

Finally, the Wu family, the last remaining descendants of the Jiao family - and hence the Emerald Dragon - usurps the past regime and once again leads mankind to the pinnacle of their glory. Time goes by, and the Heavens looks down silently as the last remaining Cruel Beast extends his claws over the human kingdom once again.

The last Cruel Beast, Chaos, launches an attack against the aging kingdom. A plague sweeps through the palace, taking the lives of servants, concubines, the Emperor’s children, and finally, the Queen. Chaos musters up the barbarian tribes of the west, those that hate the kingdom. The barbarians catches the kingdom unprepared, slaughtering whoever they see.

One young man stands forward as the hero of their realm. The eldest son of the sick Emperor, the only child of his alive, but had lost the use of his legs due to an assassination attempt from a poisoned stew. He rallies the armies against the attackers, and he is victorious. He is, in the White Tiger’s words, worthy of the Emerald Dragon’s lineage.

The prince is the one to finally slaughter Chaos, the blood of the Emerald Dragon within him giving him the ability to do so even though he was but a mortal human. However, unbeknownst to him, by doing so he also inadvertently re-opened the channels between the mortal plane with Heaven and Hell. Demons began to pile out of the tunnels, now that there was no more Cruel Beast suppressing them.

Cultivators found themselves able to ascend and become Immortals now, and they fought off the demons the best they could, but until the day the prince died, the war between Cultivators and demons was still waging. He always thought it was his fault, that he was the one who unleashed Hell on earth, not knowing that it was always going to happen, that is was the balance of life. He dies unhappy and guilty, thinking that his kingdom had been doomed.

Until one day, the Qilin burns up 500 years of his life in the Phoenix’s fire in exchange for the whole world to be reincarnated once again, 30 years backwards.

 

**Author's Note:**

> And that's it! I hope everyone enjoys, do leave kudos and comments if you can. FYI, the White Tiger is supposed to be Chanyeol, the Xuanwu (basically a snake with a tortoise's shell) is Kyungsoo. 
> 
> Here is what my Qilin looks like  
> 
> 
> And here is a Hundun, or Chaos  
> 
> 
> Obviously I took liberties, but the lore and appearances are generally kept the same. A Hundun is dubbed one of the four cruelest beasts in Chinese mythology, and the Qilin is kinda in top 5 in the best? But as I said, I took liberties.
> 
> //
> 
>  
> 
> [If we could go on a date again](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jik6kfmtm_I)
> 
>  
> 
> When sober, it is difficult to be emotional / Only when I am lost can I find the love I am anticipating / I am happy to meet you in my dreams as well / I hope I can tell you all of my hopes and intentions
> 
> Who decides man’s base nature? / Perhaps in my life its name has been buried / Pure love is hard to recognize and remember / Men were meant to be have emotions
> 
> Looking at this broken city of the past that is no longer familiar / How did it become so quiet? / The happy laughter is gone from those long streets / Leaving this life of mine alone here
> 
> Doubting as I look at the snowy storms, I don’t know which day they will stop / In the next life, if you and I are to meet again / Would we be able to find each other’s shadow / If we have no evidence or proof (repeat)
> 
> Forgive me for not knowing to cherish that day, I only knew willfulness / I destroyed things / I can only hope that you, in the emptiness right now, can listen to my heart / If in the future, there is a date to be completed / If we can be as deeply in love with one another / I swear by the heavens, I will follow your lead / I swear by the heavens, please lead me
> 
>  
> 
> [The Eternal Kingdom](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BU5CvWZJBfw)
> 
>  
> 
> Perhaps in the eternal kingdom / Could a pair of lovers live without getting old / No more need to hold up a facade of pride / Leaving a sigh in yesterday night’s castle
> 
> Hurting because of you behind your back, loving a person like this makes me weary physically and mentally / I cannot bear / All the details of our memories / Want you to be happy / No longer worried and restrained / After everything ends / Permit me to accompany you / In searching for the scent of a blooming flower / In searching for the secret that is lost in a dream / Forget life and death / Continue our diary of intimacy
> 
> Legend says there is a god that never dies there / Riding the wind, an ancient seal in hand / Forgiving / All the unfortunate things of the past / At the end of tonight, don’t let any regrets remain
> 
> There will always be some precious footsteps / That you cherish excitedly
> 
> Flying in the rain and clouds / Dreams become deeper
> 
> Forget how insignificant you and I are / How tragically beautiful that we were together in this world
> 
> Red snow / Floods the grey sky and earth / At the end, what else is left to be remembered? / Legend says there is a god that never dies there / Riding the wind, an ancient seal in hand / Forgiving / All the unfortunate things of the past / At the end of tonight, hope that a passionate kiss can be left


End file.
